Baffled

I'm completely baffled by this one. He insists that he wants me in his life and that he misses me. But he also admits, after 5 months of asking why isn't he letting his gaurd down, that he has emotional baggage. He's been hurt in the past, and now has fear of being hurt or let down. His personality type and his every day life say he's more concerned about being perfect on the job than he is anything else. He knows he can't do the thing a boyfriend is supposed to do so he can't make a committment, his conscious won't let him because he won't do a good job at it. He also freely admits that he is a workaholic, if you hear him talk about it its almost like an addict talking about drugs. He know's theres something askew with working at 1130 at night but still does it. On one note it says that he is committed to doing a good job and getting things done. But it also smells a lot like obsession. I don't know how to deal with this one because work is his other woman.
He would be ideal for me with this one exception hanging over our heads. So how do I deal? He makes time for 1 hobby that he's been loyal to since his last break up. A regular day consists of work from 9-6 or 7 hobby from 7-all hours of the night. This is on a good night to break up the monotany or because the boss tells him he's been working too much. Mind you he's on a Salary. He does this on a regular basis with an occasional dinner with the employees-ers. Then if he's not doing that he is in the office until the work is done. He let me down on a really special planned occasion because of work. He worked until 4 am to get something done so he could come. Needless to say it wasn't possible so he didn't accomplish it and an hour before he was supposed to be on the road (9am) he was still in bed and went to go back in to finish the work. I say leave this one be because he's not ready. But I also don't think he's worth missing out on. These are good qualities that are rare in black men these days. However over the top I have to settle for the dissapointment, lack of communication, and quality time. He insists that he's working on it and this relationship has to be on his terms. He doesn't want me to leave but he understands if I want to. ( As if this has been done to him before and there is nothing he can do about it.

Mr. Excuses, Excuses

They fall head over heels for me every time. And through the getting to know them process I hear
"I've been through so much I just want to make sure it doesn't happen again"
" I have baggage and I don't want to put that on you"
" You're too good for me. I don't want to bring my baggage into your life"
" I can't be who you want me to be"
"I've been hurt"
Now at first I think "He's just not that into me". But what if the fact of the matter is that these guys really do think they have a problem.
They're all :
Crem De La Crem, smart, ambitious, very personable, mature, great communicators, and there are no red flags that say: This guy is a player and/or he's not ready for a relationship. I admit I am forward in saying how I feel at times and I'm passionate about what I want. And they're totally onboard.But isn't that what your're supposed to do? Be honest in those two aspects (how I feel and what I want), ask where they are in their lives and take it from there?
Its not that they scatter like roaches, because they don't. They just become more introspective and question if they can really be that man after a certain amount of time. Then after a while begins the insuing back and forth. They don't want to let go and they refrain from talking about a committment. They just want to go with the flow. Constantly reminding themselves and me at times that they don't think they will measure up. In the end they all confess they thought I wanted this night and shining armour that people are always talking about. This person is nowhere near what I tell them. In fact this description is a cliche. The prototype: caring, romantic, sensitive, likes walks on the beach, foot rubs, and bubble bath. I'm lmao by the time they get to sensitive. But nothing I say can change their minds. They then spend alot of time telling me what they miss about me, how they feel about me, what they like about me, and how much they want to be with me, but there is this constant limbo that I have no control over. They're insecurities get in the way. I feel like the man sometimes. I want to say snap out of it and take a risk, thats they only way you'll move forward.(And it doesn't have to be with me) Do it for you. I've been where they are. Not to belittle their feelings but why do they insist on wallowing in it? Why can they not except the challenge of being honest with themselves first and then me? Why is it so hard for them to just let me go if their not ready like they thought they were? Why do I insist on fixing some of these guys like a thereapist or just hang around in hopes that a light bulb will go off and they will realize who I am to them. Ultimately I end up cutting all communication, literally. After months of investing into a solid relationship foundation which started with awesome communication, sparks, and congruency I am left with no sense of closure and not even a lesson learned. He's chosen to cower behind his fears, and go back into wallowing in the pity and self shame of bachelorism. I am plagued by another "What If" hoping the next destination will be better thant he last.