Judging Love

I am a creature of habit
I toil with the mind
Blow like the winds
I break and enter at my own leisure
I go to the place where God and I RSVP
I ache like an obsession
I am love.
I grow from a Jones into a full bloom rose
I make your heart race a million fold
I creep from a single sight
I am worth the fight
I am Love.
The glimpse, the stare, the compulsion, the curiosity,
The thing you can't explain that keeps you up at night
And when you know you have me
I rock you to sleep at night
I can be that precipice if you let me. Not impending an disaster
But a reckoning master.
K. S.

Here's a question of a lifetime: I am romantic by nature. I get that from my dad's side of the family. I know the feeling, all too well, that you get when you meet someone and you're blown away with each other. And it lasts and lasts.. but circumstances get in the way, and he complicates it. I tested my own theory and revisited the past a few times and the feelings always came flooding back. Everybody has at least one they felt got away. I have three.I can admit that. But we've all moved on. My rule has always been no go backs. They are not connected to my soul but the feelings run deep. Years have past and I've not been afforded the luxury of closure. Matter of fact in all three cases it was a long embrace, we both said keep in touch, and we stare and stare and pulled ourselves from each other as if it hurt.10 years pass, 1 year passes and now 6 months have passed. 1 doesn't care to communicate, the other calls to reminisce but fails to offer any clarity, and the last answers when I call sometimes (always in the middle of something, no time to really talk). All I want to do is let go. Someone once said be careful when you get a passionate person, for their passion can go both ways. I think I am one of those people. Love comes so easily for me when the elements are right. I don't think that's wrong I think its my reality. No matter what I do. But I've read that it actually scares people. Love? Why? When I have these episodes of nostalgia why do I long for a person. And I've noticed that the person who reaps the benefits is the person that I'm attempting to have a relationship with. Someone who I know in my mind is completely undeserving. I am the epitome of a true hearted God's honest woman. Not because of tasks I am able to perform or skills I possess, or even because of my etiquette. I am genuinely the virtuous, giving, and beautiful spirit some long for. But because of weak minds reaping the information from magazines, television, and misguided friends, they never get to know what they are really looking for.
Why do people honestly believe they are reading a book before open the cover? And why do these same people have extravagant tattoos that read " ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME"?
If you really were looking for someone you'd take the time to stop and "look". I should be grateful for not getting the chance on some of these guys but it's disheartening to see so many men scared stupid to get to know a woman, in fear of wasting their time, or getting hurt. I miss the old fashioned days when all he knew was he wanted to talk to you to get to know you. Not size you up before even speaking.